


Some Nights

by LyingTurtle



Series: Goddard Business Casual [4]
Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: Alcohol, Jacobi is made of feelings, Kepler is an asshole, M/M, Sunrises
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-17 00:34:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13647684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LyingTurtle/pseuds/LyingTurtle
Summary: If college has taught me one thing it's how to make it through the alphabet using alcohol.  Also the hatred against Burnett's is completely bias on my own accord because I have got some horror stories guys.  If you don't want to wind up hiding in a bathtub from cops, don't drink Burnett's.I'm sorry, this has nothing to do with the story, just be safe out there you guys.  Please enjoy





	Some Nights

**Author's Note:**

> If college has taught me one thing it's how to make it through the alphabet using alcohol. Also the hatred against Burnett's is completely bias on my own accord because I have got some horror stories guys. If you don't want to wind up hiding in a bathtub from cops, don't drink Burnett's.
> 
> I'm sorry, this has nothing to do with the story, just be safe out there you guys. Please enjoy

Jacobi couldn't help but think of how great it would be if someone came up with a cause and effect dictionary on alcohol.  Alphabetical just straight down the list, just to give him an idea of how his night would play out so he would be prepared for the emotional baggage that followed.

 

Absinthe means you will be throwing up within the hour.

Brunettes means you must already be drunk and desperate.

Ciroc means you were bought this buy someone who came to the bar in a tie.

Alphabet, alphabet, alphabet, skip to the culprit at hand.

Whisky means  _ Warren fucking Kepler _ is all you're thinking about because he found some new way to crawl under your skin and now there's an itch to scratch.

 

“Fuck, you feel so good” groaned Steve something, Ryan?  James?  Jacobi suppressed the urge to roll his eyes at whoever the hell it was gripping bruises into his hips was named.  Not like the man could see his eyes from this position.  He didn't ask them to  _ talk _ .  The person he wants wouldn't talk, not like that.  He can shut his eyes and feel the heat of breath rolling over his neck, imagining hands sliding up his body, settling at his throat for a moment before threading through his hair.  He could feel whispered words sending shivers down his spine, lips parting because he would need just a little bit more air after that.

“Hold on a second” the man drew back at his request, managing to kick even more of Jacobi’s sheets off in the process.  He turned around to lay on his back, the man parting his legs and getting right back to where they left off.  He tucked his head into the crook of his neck, breathing in the unfamiliar scent.  He had built a mental map of scars and muscles from the small infrequent moments where he got to touch Kepler instead of just being touched.  It was incomplete but just enough to get lost in when Jacobi closed his eyes and ran his hands down the other man's back, dragging his nails down as he went, feeling the phantom skin beneath his fingers.  He could relish in this, the heat created by two bodies, the pleasure coiled like a live wire in his abdomen, the soft panting beside him that matched his own and made it impossible to feel alone.  Jacobi knew deep down they were both really with someone else.

“Hey, do you hear something?” Jacobi opens his eyes, looking in the direction of his nightstand that had the man's attention, “I sounds like the Barney song”

“Shit, hang on” Jacobi quickly grabbed his phone from underneath a shirt, not surprised in the least to see who was calling yet his heart seemed to act like it was regardless.  The man shifted up onto his arms like he was about to get off but Jacobi wrapped his free arm around him, pulling him closer and subsequently deeper “Just stay quiet” he whispered, answering the phone and clearing his throat.  “Hey”

“Mr. Jacobi, good to see you up at this hour” Kepler's voice was even less clear through the muffle of a phone, it highlighted all the slurred parts of his drawl like it was trying to make the goosebumps on his skin permanent.

“I aim to please” he sighed, half to cover the man above him began moving slowly as though fucking him was like taking a drag off a cigarette.

“If I were to ask that you'd join me at my apartment before five-thirty am, would you arrive?” Jacobi curled his fingers against his back, feeling breathless despite breathing too much.  Kepler didn't ask questions because he wanted an answer, he wanted results.

“Is this a work thing, sir?”

“Would it matter?” Jacobi grinned despite the annoyance.

“I'll be there” Kepler hung up, having gotten what he wanted.  Jacobi wondered if he ever actually had any doubts when he asked him things like this.  “Alright” Jacobi turned his attention back to the man above him.  Francis?  Whatever.  “We're gonna need to hurry this up, I've got somewhere to be”

 

-

 

It was cold.  Ridiculously cold for five-twenty in the morning.  On top of that Jacobi had to climb the stairs on the side of the building to get up to the flat roof where he had a horrible feeling he'd find Kepler.  The whole ‘being invited over only to find the door locked’ only ever meant one thing.

“Glad you could make it” he's leaning against the concrete siding, facing in the direction of where the sky was beginning to turn to pink with the rising sun that hadn't quite broken through yet.

“Yeah” he mutters, because even though he wouldn’t rather be anywhere else, he's not exactly giddy to see him right now.  Jacobi walks over to the siding and leans his elbows on it, waiting for the sun.

“You look cold”

“It's twenty degrees out” Kepler shrugs off his outer coat, some thick dark green thing full of dense denim and thermal lining.  He pulls it over Jacobis shoulders without any remark, going to far as to run his thumb up his neck and behind his ear as he does so.  Jacobi doesn't thank him.  It's not kindness, it's a statement.

Kepler turns back to facing the nearly risen sun, unbothered by the cold in the slightest.

“You're upset with me” there's no accusation, just a monotone address to the status of their relationship.

“You made me think you were dead” Jacobi tries to copy his tone of voice but can't manage to keep the hurt out of it.

“Briefly.  To complete the objective”

“You could have let me in on the plan”

“I knew you would do what needed to be done, I counted on you to keep Maxwell and yourself safe, which you performed excellently” Jacobi looks down into the shadows of the alley below them, seeing his hands shake as he tied wires together and set the charge, Maxwell grabbing his arm to make him run because he couldn't get his feet to move knowing that Kepler may not actually be dead somewhere inside.

“You could have let me in on it” he repeated, not wanting to give him any more satisfaction that he was probably already getting from this whole ordeal.  He had yet to find a word to describe the special kind of sadist he knew Kepler to be.

“I'm not going to apologize”

“I don't expect you to”

“But you're going to act upset anyways”

“I don't know if you noticed yet but I do this weird thing called expressing the emotions I feel” he turns to look at Kepler now, daring him to call him out and say how he expects more from his behavior.  Kepler could read his face clear as day, ‘If you reprimand me this becomes business, if you want to talk then you can't have all the power’.  Kepler smiles to himself, looking down over the street, letting Jacobi have this one.  Jacobi tugs the coat tighter around him.  It feels solid and heavy on his shoulders like an outstretched arm.  There's a craving in his chest for something physical, his knuckles are white from how hard he's clenching it.  He let his eyes fall to a near shut, wondering how a jacket could be better than sex.

“What would you do if I died?” Jacobi doesn't bother opening his eyes, he won't let Kepler take his moment from him.

“Fill out an incident report” Jacobi can see the puff of steam as they both laughed, clouding together as it rose up and dissipated in the beams of sun coming through the city.

“What would you do afterwards”

“Go on a long vacation, come back and rejoin the research team, get super bored, blow up your apartment, marry Maxwell for the insurance benefits before I quiet Goddard, become- I dunno, a firefighter?  Arsonist?  Whatever bides time better.  Die, rot, become a tree.  I think I could be a great tree” Jacobi shrugs, grinning and turning his back to the sunrise so he wouldn't have to squint at it.  Instead he watched the purples fade away with the moon on the opposite end.

“Do you want to know what I'd do if you die?” Kepler doesn't turn around but he doesn't have to.  He hasn't taken his eyes off Jacobi.

“I'd really rather not.  I have this nagging feeling that I'm going to die before you and I'm just going to pretend you'll throw a nice funeral and there will be tons of tears and flowers and you'll never replace me ever”

“I could never replace you” Jacobi swallows hard, every organ in his body refusing to function at once.  Why did he have to sound so honest?  He could handle rude sarcasm, he couldn’t deal with  _ honest _ .

“That's not fair, sir” he mutters, voice so low he has to wonder if it actually came out as sound.  He didn't get to just stare at him like that, didn't get to say things that would rip him apart, there were rules and lines and every boundary in the book were screaming in the back of his head.  It hurts from his throat to his toes but he can't do anything but stay there drinking it all in, knowing he'd trade gold to hold onto this feeling.

_ Punishment _ .  The thought hits Jacobi like a trainwreck.  His mouth opens slightly to say  _ ‘oh’ _ but nothing comes out.  He knows this game.  He's played this one before.  Kepler can tell he's caught on now because he pushes off from the wall, taking the half step necessary to put himself in front of Jacobi to pull the jacket tighter around him in the front.  The warmth of his breath is impossible to ignore in the frigid temperature.  Jacobi straightens up, the space between them intimate under the guise of a normal human task.  Like trying to snap a clip on the collar that both of them know is broken.

“What was his name again?” Jacobi can't tell if he's whispering or shouting to him because all the space in the universe has just shrunk to take up the inch or two that's between them.

“I don't honestly remember” Jacobi could think of ten different ways he could have found out about the guy in his apartment but found he wasn't annoyed by any of them.  There's something like pride in the way Kepler similes, eyes tilted down on the task in his hands.  Not proud of Jacobi but maybe proud of himself for still being the most important thing in his life.

Jacobi reached up, curling his hand around the fingers that were pointlessly close to him just for the sake of it, enough lines being blurred for him to feel like maybe he was allowed.  ‘I know you want me, you can have me.  You don't even have to try, I already love you’ Kepler pulled his hand back, taking a step away which instinctively had Jacobi stepping forwards, not ready to let it all sink back into the routine.

“Have you actually slept yet tonight?” Jacobi could only answer him in a sharp laugh, ‘you'd think I'd risk closing my eyes and having you be gone when I wake up?’, “Come on then” he gestured for Jacobi to follow, putting more than a necessary amount of space between them as he trotted down the stairs.

They enter the apartment without much fuss or ado.  Jacobi has been here many times before, it's almost like an extension of their office space.  Different rules, same game.  He goes over to the couch without asking, knowing there'd be a blanket draped over the back and a throw pillow that was too comfortable for its own good.

Kepler is grabbing a coffee and his book from his room, how the mug is still billowing steam is beyond Jacobis comprehension.  He kicks his shoes off at the base of the couch and tugs the blanket over top of him.  Sleep feels bittersweet now.  He got close enough to get a reminder of why he's so head over heels, but didn't get far enough to make a change that would last till the next time he woke up.  The only benefit to losing the game were the ending credits.

Kepler sat down on the edge of the couch, coffee going to sit on the table beside the arm rest and book propped up in one hand.  Jacobi put the pillow down beside him, laying down and tugging the blanket up to cover half his face.  He was just pressed against his leg enough to be present but not so far as to lay in his lap.  Sighing softly, he let his eyes shut and tried not to focus on the discomfort of the small buttons and straps of the jacket digging into him while he laid on it.

He was exhausted, mentally and physically.  Even though he laid beside the biggest stressor in his life, he couldn't help but feel safe and at ease knowing he had the only person he really trusted watching over him.  So even though he was exhausted and kept drifting towards the line of consciousness, he made himself wait just a little while longer.

Keplers hand drifted down to his head, fingers threading through his hair slowly like he was searching for something easy to miss. Jacobi would never ask why he would never go the distance and just put them both out of their misery.  Tomorrow they’d go back to work in seperate cars, debrief the mission, settle into the normal orbit of getting too close and then backing far away.  But Jacobi could do it, he could play the long game.  It was worth it for nights like these.

**Author's Note:**

> I promise they won't all be this 'serious' I just like to dip me feet in darker water from time to time.


End file.
